AN INTERVIEW WITH THE AL MHAMA FAMILY

LEARNINGS OF LOVE, LOSS AND THE INADEQUACIES OF AUSTRALIAN FIGS. COME WITH ME WITH THIS BEAUTIFUL, YOUNG FAMILY FROM IRAQ.

I HAD ASKED THE AL MHAMA FAMILY IF THEY WOULD BE MY FIRST INTERVIEW IN THIS SERIES. I WRITE ABOUT THEIR IMPORTANT AND PLACE IN MY LIFE IN AN EARLIER ENTRY. WE SIT DOWN AT THEIR HOME ON A WARM FRIDAY AFTERNOON IN THE LAST DAYS OF WINTER. I AM BEGINNING TO SEE MY ROLE IS PERHAPS TO BE A PRISM THAT REFRACTS THE LIVES OF OTHERS. OUR LIVES ARE NOT A SINGLE STORY BUT PART OF A MURAL, THE FALLING TOGETHER OF ACCOMPLICES AS MICHAEL ONDAATJE SAYS. I HOPE IN SHARING THESE STORIES, AND THIS EXPERIENCE THAT WE BEGIN TO SEE OURSELVES IN THE LIVES AND FACES OF OTHERS AND LEARN TO SEEK JOY NOT IN THE DISTANCE BUT TO GROW IT UNDER OUR FEET.
 

 

WE FLICK OFF OUR SHOES AT THE FRONT DOOR AND ARE HANDED IRAQI COFFEE AND FIG PASTRIES AS WE ENTER. THE KIDS COME DOWN WHEN THEY HEAR OUR VOICES AND JOIN US IN THE LIVING ROOM. IN THIS HOME, I HAVE ALWAYS FELT A SENSE OF GEMÜTLICH. IT IS A GERMAN WORD I CAME ACROSS IN MY TIME IN SWITZERLAND FOR WHICH WE HAVE NO ENGLISH EQUIVALENT. GEMÜTLICH CONVEYS A STATE OF WARMTH, FRIENDLINESS AND PEACE OF MIND. IT IS A FEELING OF BELONGING AND CLOSENESS SHARED WITH US BEYOND LANGUAGE BARRIERS AND CULTURAL DIFFERENCES.















 

THE AL MHAMA FAMILY HAVE BEEN IN AUSTRALIA FOR THREE YEARS. THERE ARE FOUR CHILDREN, THE FATHER’S MOTHER AND A YOUNG MUM AND DAD. THEY ARE YAZIDI (ÊZIDÎ) PEOPLE FROM IRAQ, A GROUP WHO HAVE SUFFERED A HORRIFIC GENOCIDE BEGINNING IN 2014 AT THE HANDS OF ISIL. OVER 3000 YAZIDI HAVE NOW BEEN SETTLED IN AUSTRALIA, MAINLY IN SMALLER COUNTRY TOWNS OF QLD AND NSW. A LARGE PART IN WHY I HAVE CHOSEN TO CONDUCT THIS INTERVIEW SERIES IS THAT A HUGE PORTION OF THOSE COMMUNITIES, INCLUDING MYSELF UNTIL RECENTLY, ARE UNAWARE OF THEIR NEW NEIGHBORS’ EXISTENCE. MY RELATIONSHIP AND EXPERIENCE TO DATE WITH THIS FAMILY ARE WRITTEN IN AN EARLIER BLOG HERE; NOTES AND OBSERVATIONS OVER SWEET TEA.
 

THEIR HOUSE DECOR IS SPARTAN. IT HAS ONE MAIN ROOM IN WHICH THERE ARE THREE LONG LOUNGES, A HANDFUL OF DOILIES DECORATING THE WALLS AND NO DINING TABLE. IT IS ALWAYS CLEAN AND ALWAYS MINIMAL. THEY SIT ON THE GROUND, NO CHAIRS AND NOTHING SUPERFLUOUS. A LIFETIME OF LIVING THIS WAY SEES THE GRANDMOTHER IN HER 70S, FLEXIBLE AND AGILE AS A WOMAN HALF HER AGE. MY PARTNER AND I SIT ON THE FLOOR, CROSSED LEGGED WITH THE FAMILY DOTTED AROUND US. WE PLACE THE PHONE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FLOOR, AND BEGIN RECORDING. I START VERY BASICALLY, AND THE ANSWERS FLOW WILLINGLY.

 

THEY SAY THEY CAME BY PLANE TO AUSTRALIA. SALIM, THE FATHER, TELLS US IT WAS ON A HUMANITARIAN VISA, WHICH WE FIGURE OUT AFTER MANY MISCOMMUNICATIONS AND GUESSES AT THE WORD ‘HUMANITARIAN’. THEY WERE GRANTED THIS VISA AFTER RECEIVING ‘THE CALL’. I HAVE COME TO LEARN AND HEAR MUCH ABOUT ‘THE CALL’. MANY OF THEIR FAMILY MEMBERS HAVE NEVER RECEIVED IT. SOME GET THE CALL FROM COUNTRIES LIKE CANADA BUT WHEREVER THE CALL MAY COME FROM, A STIFLING ANXIETY ACCOMPANIES ITS WAITING. LISTENING BACK TO THE RECORDINGS, ONE MOMENT WELLED UP IN ME. THE RECORDING BELOW, OF SALIM DESCRIBING HIS EXPERIENCE OF THE FIRST DAYS IN AUSTRALIA IS SOMETHING THAT MAKES ME SO HEARTWARMINGLY PROUD. THESE FEW SECONDS ENCAPSULATE A LIFETIME OF EMOTION.

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WE MOVE ONTO THE MORE SUPERFICIAL ELEMENTS OF THEIR IRAQ.

 

‘WHAT FOOD DO YOU MISS?’ MY PARTNER ASKS.

 

SALIM TRIES TO FIND THE WORD IN ENGLISH AND EVENTUALLY, WHEN HE SEES WE CAN’T UNDERSTAND, HE PULLS UP A PHOTO ON GOOGLE OF A FIG. HE SAYS THAT FIGS IN IRAQ ARE VERY GOOD. ‘IN IRAQ VERY YUM YUM, WE HAD A TREE OF THOSE IN OUR HOUSE. THEY ARE BETTER’. THE YOGURT, SANDWICHES FOR ONLY $2 AND FALAFEL ARE ALL MISSED. ON THE 40 DEGREE DAYS IN IRAQ, WHICH ARE COMMON I’VE LEARNED, THE KIDS WOULD BUY ICE CREAM AND ALL WOULD LAY ON THE ROOFS AT NIGHT. THERE WAS NO AIRCON, SO THIS WAS THEIR ONLY REPRIEVE. OLIVES WERE CONSUMED ALMOST DAILY AND GOAT'S CHEESE GATHERED FROM THE MARKETS. BUT ONE OF THE GIRLS’ FAVORITE THINGS ABOUT FOOD IN HER HOME COUNTRY IS THAT ‘IT IS EASIER WHEN YOU GO TO THE SHOPS, YOU CAN TALK IN YOUR OWN LANGUAGE’.

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WE CONTINUE ON AND I ASK WHAT THEIR FAVORITE THINGS ABOUT IRAQ ARE. SALIM, THE FATHER ANSWERS QUICKLY THAT IT IS A BETTER LIFE FOR THE CHILDREN OVER THERE. THEY MENTION A COUPLE OF THE THINGS THEY MISS. THEY MISS THEIR FAMILY, THEIR TOWN AND THEIR ‘MANY, MANY COUSINS’. ‘I HAVE MANY RELATIVES IN IRAQ,’ SALIM SAYS PROUDLY. AND THEN HE SAYS, “I MISS MY HOUSE’. I KNOW THIS FAMILY LOST THEIR HOME. THERE IS A VERY POIGNANT PHOTO OF THE FOUR CHILDREN STANDING AT THE FOOT OF A MAGNIFICENT STAIRWELL THAT I HAVE SEEN. THEY ARE DRESSED UP BEAUTIFULLY, AS IF ON THEIR WAY TO A WEDDING OR CELEBRATION. AS SALIM SLIDES HIS PHONE SCREEN TO THE LEFT, THE NEXT PHOTO IS THE CHILDREN STANDING AT THE BASE OF THE SAME STAIRWELL; HOWEVER, THIS TIME, THE OPEN SKY IS VISIBLE ABOVE THEM, THE WALLS HAVE CRUMBLED AWAY AND RUBBLE GATHERS AT THEIR FEET. THEIR HOME DOESN’T EXIST ANYMORE.

 

THEY ALL CONFIRM THAT PEOPLE TALK TO EACH OTHER MORE. BUT AS I TURN TO THE GRANDMOTHER, WHO SPEAKS SHE SAYS SHE DOESN’T MISS ANYTHING AND THEY COMPLAIN VERY LITTLE. THEY APPRECIATE THEIR SAFETY AND OPPORTUNITIES HERE, HOWEVER CHALLENGING IT MAY BE. WHEN I ASK IF LIFE IN AUSTRALIA IS GOOD OR BAD THE MOTHER ANSWERS SHYLY THAT LIFE IS IN THE MIDDLE BECAUSE ‘[MY] ENGLISH IS NO GOOD’. SHE SAYS PERFECTLY.












 

THEY TELL ME OF THE NUANCED SMALL DIFFERENCES OF LIFE HERE. THERE ARE NO CHAIRS AND NO TABLES. THEY SIT ON THE FLOORS. THE INTERVIEW ENDS WITH THE ERUPTIONS OF LANGUAGE AS THE CHILDREN TELL US ABOUT THEIR TOILETS AT HOME. THE YOUNGEST GIRL, ONLY SIX, SQUATS DOWN AND SAYS THAT IN IRAQ THEY “DON'T HAVE PAPER TO WIPE [OUR] BUTT’. THEY USE BIDETS AND SHE WARNS THAT ‘YOU’VE DONE IT WRONG IF YOU’RE ALL WET!’. WE CONTINUE LAUGHING TOGETHER AS THE INTERVIEW FINALLY DRAWS TO A CLOSE. I TAKE A MOMENT TO THINK, AS YOU CAN PERHAPS HEAR IN THE RECORDINGS, THAT THIS INTERVIEW WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO TAKE PLACE WITHOUT THE CHILDREN THERE TO TRANSLATE. OUR KURDISH IS RESIGNED TO GREETINGS, LIMITED MEDICAL INSTRUCTIONS AND THE NAMES OF FRUIT, WHILE THEIR ENGLISH CONTINUES TO DEVELOP. THE WEIGHT AND MENTAL CAPACITY THE KIDS CARRY UNDOUBTEDLY BUILDS THEIR RESILIENCE AND SKILLS YET IT IS FATIGUING. AFTER OUR INTERVIEW, THE EVENING GOES ON. THE FAMILY HAD RECENTLY BEEN TO A WEDDING AND BEAM WITH EXCITEMENT TO SHOW US MORE OF THEIR CULTURE. THEY SHOW US VIDEOS OF HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE DANCING, THE BRIDE GETTING HER HENNA DONE AS ALL THE GUESTS CIRCLE HER IN RED, AND WE LEARN THAT THESE WEDDINGS HAVE NO ALCOHOL. THE SCREEN FLASHES WITH LITTLE GIRLS TWIRLING IN BEAUTIFUL DRESSES AND MEN HOLDING HANDS IN DANCE. AS OUR VISIT DRAWS TO A CLOSE, HANDFULS OF YAZIDI RELATIVES AND FRIENDS TRICKLE IN AND OUT OF THE HOME, SOME A SIMPLE GREETING AS THEY PASS BY, OTHERS ARE THERE FOR THE EVENING. THERE IS A MIXTURE OF KURDISH (KURMUNJI), AND ARABIC YET WITH OUR PRESENCE, ENGLISH PREVAILS.















 

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ONE OF THE MOST GRIPPING BOOKS I’VE EVER READ IS CALLED ‘ANCIENT FUTURES’. IT IS WRITTEN BY SWEDISH AUTHOR HELENA NORBERG-HODGE AND IS A MOVING PORTRAIT OF TRADITION AND CHANGE IN LADAKH, A PLACE KNOWN AS LITTLE TIBET. IT DETAILS THE CHALLENGES THE GLOBAL ECONOMY BRINGS TO THE TOWN YET SPEAKS OF THE LIVES OF A PEOPLE WHO EXHIBITED A REMARKABLE VITALITY AND JOY FOR LIFE. HELENA NOTES IN HER BOOK THAT THESE PEOPLE HAVE ‘A GENUINE AND UNHINDERED APPRECIATION FOR LIFE ITSELF’. I HAVE NEVER HAD THE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THE FEELING OF CONTENTEDNESS AND INNER CALM THAT THIS IRAQI FAMILY EXHIBITS, UNTIL BEING REMINDED OF THESE WORDS. THE SIMILARITIES I SEE FROM THIS FAMILY TO THE PEOPLE IN LADAKH ARE CLEAR. NORBERG-HODGE OBSERVES THAT THE PEOPLE THERE HAD ‘A DEEP ROOTED CONTENTEDNESS THAT WAS SOMETHING THEY TOOK FOR GRANTED’.






 

AS MY PARTNER AND I WALK OUT OF THEIR HOME, COLLECT OUR SHOES THAT LAY AMONGST THE LARGE PILE, AND ONTO THE DARK STREET, I TRY TO ASSUME THE LESSONS TAUGHT TO ME BY THIS YOUNG FAMILY. LOOKING UP TO SCORPIO EMERGING FROM THE TWILIGHT SKY AND FEELING THE EVENING AIR BRUSH AGAINST MY FACE, I THINK THAT PERHAPS WE AND I NEED TO GIVE THE MUNDANE ITS BEAUTIFUL DUE.